Being Body Positive

The problem with your body changing is keeping up with society.  SOciety is so body negative for women who take up space.  my fat and muscle and strength always represented a FUCK you to the folks who come for a phat girl.  my former body was strong.  I played hockey, softball, flag football, rode a bike regularly (new big black will come back).  I would teach middle school girls self defense for 6 years.  Allowing them to feel their bodies strong.


and what is this new body?  weak and broken.  I see bones and rib cage.  I see a body that has betrayed me.  I cant get off the floor by myself.  upper body weak as fuck.  I know this will not be for ever.  but I have every right to be in my feelings about it.  few women dream of loving a big body.  I loved my big body.  Taking up physical space reflected how I felt about my own power.

But Jill Scott said it right:

Im taking my freedom
putting on my chain
wear it around my neck...


I make my own merriment and define my own sense of body and self love concept.

My body will never be this large and in charge again, but hey, at least im tall AND im still meaty.  As I welcome the new phyiscal me into my broken heart, I continue to mourn the strongest woman body i knew.  #thisbitchcouldflipcars #throwhumans