When you wake up from being on life support, you dont realize at first you had almost died. There is a disconnect because parts of your body hurt. Friends and family are there. Everything happens so fast. And what the Devil had planned for me had failed. And you realize how grateful you are for Urban Family and colleagues and homies. How do you mentally recover? How do you look at Life? People as all the questions. Why were you in the hospital? What happened? Why were you there? The questions feel as invasive as the IVs and catheter. Almost two weeks later and I do not allow my brain to go there often. To think of the days I have NO recollection of what was done to my body and what was happened to my body. How could it be leading up for two years to betray me? How dare I not pay better attention. And I would allow work and life to shield me from putting me first in the ways that matter most?
Kids from poverty dont go to the doctor. We dont take vacation. We sleep off ailments. "you must just be tired." Turns out I was sick and tired of being sick and tired." My body broke at a time that actually was convenient. Still, what is dying without serious contemplation.
We will see what this part of the journey brings.
No comments:
Post a Comment