After speaking with so many of the squad who were there the day my body died. and I say body bc I would say my spirit and my soul was thriving.
But all the medical notes I have finally seen and voices heard.
Mental health has become central to my Recovery bc when your body dies, it's really traumatic.
When I was waiting to be intabated, and I was awake the whole time on Oxygen. I was sitting up in the wheelchair and I can remember telling the folks I cant breathe, I need a bigger oxygen mask and not the little tube kind.
Tons of white male doctors in the room, none of which could find my pulse. its bc my EF had gone to a 9. Marlana, gal pal who works at the Cleveland Clinic did not believe gal pal Rachel when she told her that of me bc when her patients have that low of a number, that means that they are dead. that the sentence in life, no pulse, yet at the same time I was fully awake and communicating, I struggle to rationalize the science and how that was happening. Why wasnt I passed out?
Where was my pulse? my bottom blood pressure was under 40....
the body is week, but the spirit is willing....
thinking thru my body dying is something I will deal with for a long time. BRING on the therapy...
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