We always joke that if you were ever in trouble with the police or needed someone to bail you out of a situation, you have that basketball squad or dream team to help you out.
I talk about it all the time, personally and professionally.
When you have a chronic, or two chronic illnesses, there isnt an endgame (well death is the endgame) but when folks keep asking for updates, things dont change like that.
there are bad days and good days, but it may take three years for me to see results that make me feel anywhere close to normal or a new normal. there is no magic wand. this is for the long hall.
asking for help and getting help has been a learning curve for someone like me who thrived on independence. I am so grateful for the folks who has seen the good, bad, and the ugly and despite the ugly, loved me broken anyway. all of my gratitude.
Thanks to all the homies that have grown with me and passed me :)
Thank you for having my back when I was against the wall. Thanks for dealing with me being stubborn. Thank you for remembering I was built for steel but I am a softy, whew. Thank you for LOVING all of me. the parts that are not pretty. If I have ever held a grudge or made a poor decision, that you didnt allow that to define me. Thank you for seeing the good in me and the greatness that has yet to come. Thanks for supporting all my foolish ideas and helping me let go of a million poor ones. I am grateful that I am not full of myself and I laugh at me first.
Gosh, during grad school, we did Buckeye Blizzard, and Kerry Hageman and others agreed to serve on a janky committee I put together and plan new programs on a no budget.
We came up with a film on the aquatic center. five people came that first year. BUT THEN 100s came the following years. we dont get credit for it, but happy that folks enjoy it. do we still joke about that blunder and first time, yes. but it taught us lessons and that starting something doesnt mean you will see it blossom. And we thought we were right about a lot of things, but experience has taught up to check ourselves.
Lessons like those made with friends stay with me. they push me to keep trusting my zany self and when others try to meddle, I go back to years of training, professionally and personally and remember, I can still make mistakes but I would be angrier if I didnt try and TRUST myself.
Real friends run along side you. They give you space when you need it, crowd you when you thought you didnt need that. and understand the marathon not the short term. there is a shared vision of growing old and rocking on a porch talking about all the times that Death, Fear, Failure came for you and we survived.
my illness may have no expiration date, but I am better bc a small army of folks are there cheering me on.
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