Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Ive Had a Terrible Horrible no Good Very Bad Day/week

Everybody someone sees me and says I look good, I was like do you see my cane and how hard it is for me to walk?

DO you see me on this struggle bus.  nope.  they see the performance of wellness.  I am going to things, making meetings, accomplishing stuff and so that means I must be getting better.

I have actually plateaued this week.
Last night for dinner I ate a boiled egg, some cheese and crackers.  Does that sound fuckin well?
I want to have the appetite.
I am better eating when I am social.  So tonight gal pal Beth came through and we broke bread together.  It had been 9 hours since I had last eaten and I had went to cardiac rehab. half way through I do the force feed without even finishing my meal.  yeah, I look great.  please stop saying that.  it really gets on my nerves.  you literally have no idea if I feel shitty or well.

DO you need more than a cane and this diffrib?
you need me to still be in a wheel chair, or not wear clothes that are nice,
high functioning doesnt mean I am well.  sometimes I am just getting by.

This is not wellness, this is a hot messness.

animated terrible horrible no good very bad day

Alexander had it right, sometimes things dont go your way.  you plan as man and G-d laughs.

you sit there in pain and a person says how good your hair looks.
you self advocate for a chair without wheels so you dont fall getting up.

Sometimes you just listen to your body and go to sleep before ten pm,  like tonight.


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